The one about…Gentleness

It was Mother’s Day in March (or more accurately Mothering Sunday)…I’ve no idea what you expect from the day or if your expectations are ever anywhere near met! However you approach it, whether you celebrate it or not it is a day to celebrate motherhood, whether as a mother, or having been mothered! At tots we made cards and read a lovely story all about a Mum…and the theme, the quality or characteristic we were thinking about was gentleness, obviously cos you know, mums are gentle!
Thing is I’m not, not always, not as much as I’d like to be, not even when I know I should be! It’s hard, harder than I ever imagined, this parenting thing! So here’s the thing, I always thought that my faith would make a huge difference yet I still get to the end of most days still feeling like I’ve failed, like I wasn’t good enough, that I could of done better, wondering where God is and what on earth I’m  doing! I think that’s where my understanding of religion both fails and thrives. There are times where I feel like I don’t meet the standard, I always used to think it was God’s standard but I’m increasingly inclined to believe it’s just a human construct…and I can either choose to beat myself up about my failures (something that Christian teaching often seems to encourage) or I can choose to focus on the good, on what I’ve learnt, on what I can do, on all the stuff that went ok. I can choose to be inspired and encouraged by the stories I read in the bible and the values I believe Christianity holds. To do all that requires reflection, meditation, contemplation, or you could call it prayer…a focus shifting away from me and onto something bigger, more inspiring, something outside of the me I think I know and thus crazy life I lead! The beauty of that is that it doesn’t matter what name you give your religion or whether you argue against having one…the ability to reflect on your day, your life, who you are, in light of values and stories which inspire you to a better way is the beginning of spirituality! That’s where God is found! That’s where I find my faith actually does make a difference!

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